Profile Photos

So I've been getting more serious about the online dating thing recently and have found a very interesting trend in the photographs that men post of themselves. I can not explain to you just how many men post pictures of themselves in either or both of these scenarios:

In the bathroom mirror
Sitting in the driver's seat of what I assume to be their car

I conducted a random search of 25 men and found that 36% had pictures of them sitting in their car and 56% had pictures of them in the bathroom.  My advice to male readers (if there are any):

1. Wash the mirror in your bathroom before taking the picture
2. Hang a towel or pretty shower curtain a plain white bathroom wall with an empty towel hanger is depressing, sterile, and a bit creepy
3. Although I did appreciate the men who were being safe and wearing their seatbelt in the car it does make me a little nervous, were you driving while taking this picture?
4. Lastly... Find a friend and have them take a picture of you. I think pictures "in the moment" are more realistic and interesting

But who am I to judge, I am sure that several of the 56% of men that stand in the bathroom with their shirts off making kissy face to the mirror will find a woman to love them, it just probably won't be me. (It all depends on just how sexy the kissy face was.)

Subject: WOW!

Found this message in my PoF inbox this evening and had to share it with you all.

YOU ARE DEFINITELY MARRIAGE MATERIAL!!!


Can we meet so we can begin our honey moon sooner than later?

Running, biking, swimming, cooking, microbrews, and dancing like no one's watching are all fun!
Wanna meet up for coffee and determine if we should have another date?


Mike

p/s- I appreciate your honesty

I did not include the photographs that he attached to this message which were front and back views of himself in tighty whities through the bathroom mirror.  I think he said it first WOW!?

The Airing of Grievances

Last summer I had a summer boyfriend or boy toy, as some people liked to call him, but for this story let's refer to him as Harry. Although he had his positive attributes, enough to keep me around for the four months, he also had his moments of... imperfection, awkwardness, and immaturity especially for a 34 year old man.

After a date, I think we had gone to dinner, we went back to my mom's house, where I was living that summer. My mom was also on a date and I didn't know when she'd get home so I asked Harry to stay with me till she got back. That day it was really hot and upon entering the house Harry decided he needed to take off his shirt and whine about how hot he was. This I found incredibly odd as he grew up in Nevada. To make him feel better I turned on the oscillating tower fan that was a few feet away from the front door by the TV which blew directly toward the couch. However, this was not enough of a cooling relief for Harry. He felt that he was so hot he needed to strip to his boxers and continue to whine. I asked him to please put back on his clothes because I didn't know when my mom would be home. Harry replied with "Like your mom has never seen a boy in boxers before."  As I was coming up with my next argument to try and convince him to put his pants back on, he walked toward the fan pulled down his boxers and began to wave his penis in front of it. After taking a few seconds to get over the shock of finding a 6 year old boy in front of me I reminded him that my mom was on a date and that he may walk her to the door or come inside. Fortunately for my mother, her date, and myself his response was "Yeah that might be weird," and proceeded to put back on his pants.

Although Harry continued to be sensitive to the heat for the majority of the summer, that was the only time I caught him 'airing himself' in front of the fan.

Someone chose you!

Is it bad that every time I get a message from okaycupid that says: Someone Chose You! "One of these 9 people just gave you high marks (4 or 5 stars) on Quickmatch. Congratulations!" I can't help but think to myself well yeah cause I'm a catch!

A lesson on spooning!

During my senior year of college a friend of mine and I made it a habit to go out to the bars every Friday night for a month. This was an attempt to have fun and find boys (Point of Advice: don't go to a trashy karaoke bar to find guys). We, to my surprise at the time, were rather successful in finding someone on a regular basis. On one of these such nights we happened to find two guys that were nice enough to walk us back to my friends place and make out with us on the door step. I thought that was the end of it as neither of us heard from them the following week.

However I was wrong... Two weeks later I got a late night phone call from a drunk Chris, lets call him, and the conversation went approximately as follows:

Me: Hello

Chris: Hi it's Chris from the bar awhile back

Me: Oh Hi

Chris: How are you doing tonight?

Me: Fine watching TV

Chris: Can I come over?

Me: It's kind of late

Chris: I was hoping maybe we could have sex

Me: I don't have sex with people before a first date

Chris: Doesn't the night at the bar count?

Me: No, I still don't know much about you

Chris: What else do you want to know?

Me: How many siblings do you have?

Chris: Two, a sister and a brother. Now can I come over?

Me: NO

Chris: I know where you live remember I walked you home

Me: You walked me to my friends house, that wasn't my place

Chris: Oh right shit.... Well you have to at least give me points for being honest with you. I just want to come over there and do you in the ass...

Me: Wow... Umm yeah except I don't sleep with people that I don't know

Chris: Well we could just cuddle then

Me: It's a little late

Chris: I'm really good at spooning, I'll spoon the shit out of you!!!

~Click~