An Introduction

I have been a single fish in the big blue sea for just over five years now. I’ve tried meeting men in bars, at singles mingles, dance classes, and have even created online dating profiles with two different sites. Through all of these endeavors I have acquired several interactions with men who, unfortunately, fell short of what I am looking for. These stories can not be kept to oneself and thus have been told and retold to all of my friends and every new friend that joins our circle. My friends have been telling me for awhile now that I need to write a book or document these stories in some way so that they can be shared with others and so that we can all return to them whenever we are in need of a good laugh.

Some of these tales are old, some are from yesterday, some are long, some are short, and some aren’t about men in particular but are conversations between the ladies! I’ll write them all as they come to me…

September 2, 2011

A lesson on spooning!

During my senior year of college a friend of mine and I made it a habit to go out to the bars every Friday night for a month. This was an attempt to have fun and find boys (Point of Advice: don't go to a trashy karaoke bar to find guys). We, to my surprise at the time, were rather successful in finding someone on a regular basis. On one of these such nights we happened to find two guys that were nice enough to walk us back to my friends place and make out with us on the door step. I thought that was the end of it as neither of us heard from them the following week.

However I was wrong... Two weeks later I got a late night phone call from a drunk Chris, lets call him, and the conversation went approximately as follows:

Me: Hello
Chris: Hi it's Chris from the bar awhile back
Me: Oh Hi
Chris: How are you doing tonight?
Me: Fine watching TV
Chris: Can I come over?
Me: It's kind of late
Chris: I was hoping maybe we could have sex
Me: I don't have sex with people before a first date
Chris: Doesn't the night at the bar count?
Me: No, I still don't know much about you
Chris: What else do you want to know?
Me: How many siblings do you have?
Chris: Two, a sister and a brother. Now can I come over?
Me: NO
Chris: I know where you live remember I walked you home
Me: You walked me to my friends house, that wasn't my place
Chris: Oh right shit.... Well you have to at least give me points for being honest with you. I just want to come over there and do you in the ass...
Me: Wow... Umm yeah except I don't sleep with people that I don't know
Chris: Well we could just cuddle then
Me: It's a little late
Chris: I'm really good at spooning, I'll spoon the shit out of you!!!

~Click~
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