So I have a new job as an office assistant/receptionist for a small business. Most of my business's clients are people in their 40-60's. This job has been eye opening in many ways but especially in the ways of older men. Apparently I am significantly more attractive to men in their 50-60's than those in their 20-30's. Here is one such example:
Vincent:
Vincent goes everywhere with his dog Scout by his side (his dog is absolutely wonderful and probably the best trained dog I have ever met). The first time I met Vincent and Scout I couldn't help but pull myself away from my work to play and pet Scout. This led to Vincent and I chatting, mostly about Scout. In the middle of our conversation he stopped and said "What's your name again?" "Ms. Damselfish" "Well Ms. Damselfish, you are very cute!" "Oh thanks!" Then he looked down at Scout "Scout remember those chick magnet skills we worked on, you have my okay with this one." We both laughed, me a little awkwardly. A few seconds later he was called back to my boss's office. On our way back he said to me "If you just happen to follow us home that would be okay."
About 2 weeks later he stopped into the office again. This time he was more direct and exclaimed: "You are just too cute I want to take you home with me." I smiled and changed the subject to Scout who was sitting at my feet giving me puppy eyes. It has been a fantasy of mine to date a guy with a dog and Scout was a great dog.... Unfortunately, Vincent was 60 (older than my own father). Too bad.
Oh and later that day when I told my boss about Vincent's harmless advances he told me that Vincent was married... F***ing men. Though I suspect the next time Vincent comes in and compliments me it will still bring a smile to my face.
Oh and if you want to see why I gave it a second thought look up german shepherd and shiba inu puppies!
February 25, 2012
February 18, 2012
Monkey Business: Part 3
HINT: SCROLL SLOWLY!!!
So the moment you've all been waiting for: How things ended with me and Micah!
Between the first and second date and after the second date, Micah began texting me 3 times a day. Once in the morning to tell me good morning. Usually around 7am. Then around lunch time he liked to tell me what he had had for lunch and always asked what I was having. Then in the evening he'd either asked me how my day had gone or let me know he was going to bed. Almost all of these text were also accompanied with a Sweetie or Honey or Cutie Pie. Which frankly was starting to creep me out.
But one day all of this changed:
Micah:
Yes that is correct ladies and gentlemen he sent me a dick pic! Of course his picture was a real picture and not a beautifully rendered one in Adobe Illustrator and lightly blurred for your viewing pleasure. No his was real alright.
I sat there in absolute shock. I was basically trying to end things with him and he sent me this. I don't know if that's like an f*** you here's what your missing or a last try to get me to stay?! All I know is that I sat there in horror and disbelief for 2 min and then began calling every girlfriend of mine to tell them the unbelievable story.
The weirdest part about it is that his picture was a forwarded message... I don't know if that means it's someone else's dick pic that he was sending around as his, or perhaps he had already sent it to some other fine lady, or perhaps someone else took it sent it to him and then he sent it to me. I really wasn't up for asking him so it still remains a mystery to this day.
So the moment you've all been waiting for: How things ended with me and Micah!
Between the first and second date and after the second date, Micah began texting me 3 times a day. Once in the morning to tell me good morning. Usually around 7am. Then around lunch time he liked to tell me what he had had for lunch and always asked what I was having. Then in the evening he'd either asked me how my day had gone or let me know he was going to bed. Almost all of these text were also accompanied with a Sweetie or Honey or Cutie Pie. Which frankly was starting to creep me out.
But one day all of this changed:
Micah: Hey how was your day?
Me: Pretty good, I had a job interview today, so I'm a little anxious.
Micah: Wow that's awesome!
Me: Yeah, I really hope I get it. I think it would be great
Micah: I'm sure you did great sweetie
Me: Thanks
Micah: So hey, I had a really naughty dream about you last night and can't stop thinking about you
Me: Wow, This might sound a little strange but I think this is going to fast for me
Me: I'm not ready to be your sweetie or have romantic (I meant sexual, well both really) feelings for each other
Micah: I could tell you felt that way
Micah: I was think we could be friends.....you know ; )
Me: (I didn't actually write anything I just sat there thinking huh? and as I was thinking this a picture began loading to my screen.....)
Micah:
Fw: My Big Juicy Italian D***.... In case you were curious!
Yes that is correct ladies and gentlemen he sent me a dick pic! Of course his picture was a real picture and not a beautifully rendered one in Adobe Illustrator and lightly blurred for your viewing pleasure. No his was real alright.
I sat there in absolute shock. I was basically trying to end things with him and he sent me this. I don't know if that's like an f*** you here's what your missing or a last try to get me to stay?! All I know is that I sat there in horror and disbelief for 2 min and then began calling every girlfriend of mine to tell them the unbelievable story.
The weirdest part about it is that his picture was a forwarded message... I don't know if that means it's someone else's dick pic that he was sending around as his, or perhaps he had already sent it to some other fine lady, or perhaps someone else took it sent it to him and then he sent it to me. I really wasn't up for asking him so it still remains a mystery to this day.
February 12, 2012
Fun with Numbers
I have recently found out that I have apparently been very naive as to how men really feel about women. After my first boyfriend who showered me with compliments to my beauty, sexiness, cuteness, and all around physical appeal, I had no idea what was really going on in men's brains.
Harry (my summer boyfriend of 2010) and I had a few conversations after we broke up; one of which ended the opportunity for us to continue to be "friends". He was telling me about his friend's new girlfriend he kept telling me that "she is a total 10 like wow, can't believe how hot she is, she is a 10." I really didn't understand what he meant, I mean I'm not stupid I had an idea. Well I made the mistake of asking, "What do you mean she is totally a 10?" "Well, all girls fall on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 are girls that the idea of just touching them makes you sick to your stomach, like you don't even want to look at them, and then 10 is like as hot as it gets. She's skinny, has the long legs, the perfect breasts and ass, and when she shakes her hair from side to side you practically cum in your pants." (Those might not have been his words exactly but it's pretty close.)
Bigger mistake I followed with the "So where do I fall on the scale? What number am I?" "Well you'd probably be like a 6.5 to 7." I was kinda shocked I mean I'll be honest with myself I know I'm not a ten but I mean hell this guy dated me for four months and couldn't wait to get in my pants I figured I was atleast an 8-9. Continuing to fall down the hole I added "And if I got a breast job? Then what number would I be?" "Oh probably an 8 or 8.5." I laughed... and quickly changed the subject but it wasn't till sometime later that I realized how hurt I was and mostly how shocked. I did not take him to be someone that shallow.
I came to realize how much this conversation damaged me when I started seeing someone else, my new and first friend with benefits Nick. One day Nick and I were talking and it suddenly dawned on me I no longer felt like the all inclusive sexy, beautiful, cute, innocent, and mysterious woman my first boyfriend made me out to believe I was. Again falling into the trap of my emotions and curiosity I brought up the conversation I had had with Harry to Nick. His response was "Yeah, all men have a scale. Most of them are 1 to 10, but every man's scale varies, like what I would call a nine another guy might call a 4."
I was actually shocked, Nick being a sweet somewhat innocent though attractive nerd, I was not expecting him to have the same reasoning as Harry. And even more so he revealed that he and other men compare numbers. This time I did not make the mistake of asking him what number I was; especially because he added "When I find a 10 I'll marry her" and we had already made it clear we were in no way heading towards marriage let alone a girlfriend boyfriend relationship.
Later that week I told one of my girlfriends about my new discovery on how shallow men are she told me that her husband had a scale too, although his was 1-4, and he had told her she was about a 3. Again I was floored, I was expecting her to tell me "No not all men are that way." Her husband, probably the nicest sweetest guy I know, he too has a scale.
I just can't believe it! All this was going on and I had no idea, I mean I have had minor body image issues before and now I find out that they all have scales! Scales to rate us and judge us. Not only are women sex objects we are also NUMBERS!
Dating is such a disaster.... I long for the day when I can find another man who see's me for who I really am Beautiful, Sexy, Cute, Innocent, Mysterious... Romantic........Me!
Harry (my summer boyfriend of 2010) and I had a few conversations after we broke up; one of which ended the opportunity for us to continue to be "friends". He was telling me about his friend's new girlfriend he kept telling me that "she is a total 10 like wow, can't believe how hot she is, she is a 10." I really didn't understand what he meant, I mean I'm not stupid I had an idea. Well I made the mistake of asking, "What do you mean she is totally a 10?" "Well, all girls fall on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 are girls that the idea of just touching them makes you sick to your stomach, like you don't even want to look at them, and then 10 is like as hot as it gets. She's skinny, has the long legs, the perfect breasts and ass, and when she shakes her hair from side to side you practically cum in your pants." (Those might not have been his words exactly but it's pretty close.)
Bigger mistake I followed with the "So where do I fall on the scale? What number am I?" "Well you'd probably be like a 6.5 to 7." I was kinda shocked I mean I'll be honest with myself I know I'm not a ten but I mean hell this guy dated me for four months and couldn't wait to get in my pants I figured I was atleast an 8-9. Continuing to fall down the hole I added "And if I got a breast job? Then what number would I be?" "Oh probably an 8 or 8.5." I laughed... and quickly changed the subject but it wasn't till sometime later that I realized how hurt I was and mostly how shocked. I did not take him to be someone that shallow.
I came to realize how much this conversation damaged me when I started seeing someone else, my new and first friend with benefits Nick. One day Nick and I were talking and it suddenly dawned on me I no longer felt like the all inclusive sexy, beautiful, cute, innocent, and mysterious woman my first boyfriend made me out to believe I was. Again falling into the trap of my emotions and curiosity I brought up the conversation I had had with Harry to Nick. His response was "Yeah, all men have a scale. Most of them are 1 to 10, but every man's scale varies, like what I would call a nine another guy might call a 4."
I was actually shocked, Nick being a sweet somewhat innocent though attractive nerd, I was not expecting him to have the same reasoning as Harry. And even more so he revealed that he and other men compare numbers. This time I did not make the mistake of asking him what number I was; especially because he added "When I find a 10 I'll marry her" and we had already made it clear we were in no way heading towards marriage let alone a girlfriend boyfriend relationship.
Later that week I told one of my girlfriends about my new discovery on how shallow men are she told me that her husband had a scale too, although his was 1-4, and he had told her she was about a 3. Again I was floored, I was expecting her to tell me "No not all men are that way." Her husband, probably the nicest sweetest guy I know, he too has a scale.
I just can't believe it! All this was going on and I had no idea, I mean I have had minor body image issues before and now I find out that they all have scales! Scales to rate us and judge us. Not only are women sex objects we are also NUMBERS!
Dating is such a disaster.... I long for the day when I can find another man who see's me for who I really am Beautiful, Sexy, Cute, Innocent, Mysterious... Romantic........Me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)