An Introduction

I have been a single fish in the big blue sea for just over five years now. I’ve tried meeting men in bars, at singles mingles, dance classes, and have even created online dating profiles with two different sites. Through all of these endeavors I have acquired several interactions with men who, unfortunately, fell short of what I am looking for. These stories can not be kept to oneself and thus have been told and retold to all of my friends and every new friend that joins our circle. My friends have been telling me for awhile now that I need to write a book or document these stories in some way so that they can be shared with others and so that we can all return to them whenever we are in need of a good laugh.

Some of these tales are old, some are from yesterday, some are long, some are short, and some aren’t about men in particular but are conversations between the ladies! I’ll write them all as they come to me…

December 31, 2011

LA Fit-n-ass

So awhile back just after I joined the gym I was getting several text messages and phone calls from them... You see they wanted to recruit my friends to the gym but I didn't give them my friends numbers I gave them mine; and thus I was receiving recruiting messages even though I was a member.  One of the texts I got (and the last) was as follows:

ass just for stopping by!
Call or text back what time
you would like to stop by and
I'll get you hooked up.

Paul
LA Fitness

I hadn't realized that the gym also gave out bootie... If I'd known that perhaps I would have joined earlier. So I called and asked for Paul to see if he could clarify his message to me. He denied that he sent the message and thought I must have deleted the first half. (I checked with my brother-in-law who was also getting the text messages and he got the same message offering up ass.)  To prove Paul wrong I drove to the gym and asked Paul and his manager to please acknowledge the text. Apparently the message was supposed to read Free Guest Pass just for stopping by.

The sucky part is after all this ring-amoral I didn't get any bootie, a free guest pass, or an apology for unwanted sexual texts.
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