He stood you up?

Have any of you ladies out there been stood up before? I would like to think I'm not the only one who has experienced this form of humiliation, although at the same time I do not wish it upon anyone.

I have been stood up three times in my life. Though none of them were the traditional form, I have never waited for hours in a restaurant ordering more water and checking my watch every 10mins. Mine were a little less publicly humiliating.

The first was from a friend, one whom I'd been flirting with off and on for 3.5 years of college. He or I (I don't remember) finally got the courage to ask the other out, we decided a day and a time but hadn't narrowed down the place... and then the day and the time passed with still no word from him. And I'm pretty sure nothing again for several weeks if not ever. The same event was repeated a couple years later with a guy I had met online.

Both of these events caused a slight sting but were relatively easy to brush off.

My third and most recent, however, was much more painful. This time we had agreed on the date (the day after my birthday) and the activity (getting drinks) but we had not narrowed down the exact time or place. At about 4:30 that afternoon I thought perhaps I'd text him and see what time worked for him.

Me: Hey, when did you want to get together tonight?

Max: What time is good for you?

Me: Anytime.. Do you wanna include dinner or just drinks?

And then there was silence... Being the person that I am I first got frustrated, why isn't he calling me, seriously what's the problem... we don't have to do dinner... Then around 8 I thought I'd try calling him... no answer. Around 10 (after two other attempts at calling him) I called a mutual friend...

Me: Hey have you heard from Max, recently? We're supposed to have this date/drinks thing and I haven't heard from him in like 6 hours.

Friend: No, I haven't heard from him.

Me: Do you think I'm being stood up?

Friend: No Max is a good guy. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't treat you like that. I don't know. I'm kinda worried maybe something's wrong.

Then I got a little worried, What if there was a family emergency? What if he had car troubles, what if he got in an accident? Then I reminded myself that there was nothing I could do, I went to bed and expected to hear from him in the morning.

The next day when I didn't hear anything I was kinda devastated. What did I do? What did I say? What is wrong with me? Maybe it's my breasts, maybe my breasts aren't big enough. My height, he didn't think it was an issue for him but it is isn't it? Did I push him away? Maybe he didn't like me after all? God I SUCK. I feel like an IDIOT.  Why did I bother getting all dressed up? Why did I get so excited, it obviously didn't mean anything to him?  All the questions, emotions, and frustration.

But why? It makes sense that if you get stood up that you feel like a looser. But what about them? Shouldn't they be the person who feels like an idiot? Standing someone up means you're disrespectful, aloof, inconsiderate, unreliable, selfish, immature, careless, insensitive, detached, and cold. Right?

It took him till Saturday at 10:30pm to finally tell me what happened. His excuse was reasonably lame something about phone dying, reduced service, friends in town, lost track of time.... His apology, however, seemed genuine and he noted that he wished to make it up to me. So I waited a few days (let my emotions simmer down) and then finally wrote him back.

In theory, we have a "making it up to me date" scheduled for tomorrow... but I haven't gotten any notice of the plans.

Do you think what they say about men who cheat is true for men who stand up women?

Once a Stander Up-er (?) always and Stander Up-er?

Well we're about to find out.