An Introduction

I have been a single fish in the big blue sea for just over five years now. I’ve tried meeting men in bars, at singles mingles, dance classes, and have even created online dating profiles with two different sites. Through all of these endeavors I have acquired several interactions with men who, unfortunately, fell short of what I am looking for. These stories can not be kept to oneself and thus have been told and retold to all of my friends and every new friend that joins our circle. My friends have been telling me for awhile now that I need to write a book or document these stories in some way so that they can be shared with others and so that we can all return to them whenever we are in need of a good laugh.

Some of these tales are old, some are from yesterday, some are long, some are short, and some aren’t about men in particular but are conversations between the ladies! I’ll write them all as they come to me…

October 8, 2012

Another keeper?!

****stop: Warning!: I am not your 'nice guy'. ****

First off, I am NOT here to play games, so if you are NOT interested in sex, then I highly suggest you hit the back button now.
Also:
IF YOU ARE TALLER THAN 5’9 THEN PLEASE HIT THE BACK BUTTON NOW !! I like my women on the petite side. Sorry if I sound like a douche, but that’s just how I feel.
With that said, I am looking for a woman. NOT a girl.
Oh yes, and you MUST have a tattoo on your lower back. That is a turn on for me. If you do NOT have a tattoo on your lower back, then you are NOT date-able.
Also.. IF YOU ARE OVER 28, I WILL DELETE YOUR MESSAGE. I WILL NOT DATE A GIRL WHO IS THAT OLD.
Also, I only date women who are fit. You must work out and have at least a set of “C’s”. Anything less and you will be deleted from my inbox. Sorry if I sound like a **stard, but I know what I want.
Also, if you wear pants, I will NOT date you. You must wear a skirt. Wearing pants is ghetto, and I do not date ghetto.
Oh, and I don’t like girls who watch soap operas, chick flicks, and Sex in the city. If you do, or have, we will NOT get along.
You MUST be able to make me laugh! If you can't then there will be no next step.

He also claims that he is the sweetest guy you will ever meet... but I think not. 
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