Location, Location, Location...

The other day I actually got this fairly sweet message:

Hello Yellowtail Damselfish, :) i hope you find love and happiness in 2013 :)
there may be a whole ocean between us but i hope it won't stop us from potential friendship :)
Kind regards
Mitch x 

The ocean that he referred to was actually an ocean and atleast one continent. He lived in the UK in a town named Plymouth; which OkCupid so nicely informed me was 4,747 miles away. Damn... Well, Mitch I hope you too find love and happiness this year!

This time it might have been me...

So I went out last night to a bar to meet a coworker and her friends and listen to a few bands play.  The night was going as expected a few drinks, a few bands, a few random comments from guys, and one nice compliment from a lady in the bathroom. It was getting late and my friend had decided to leave, I thought I'd stay to hear some of the last band. Within seconds of them leaving this guy came up and started talking to me. He seemed nice enough, he had moved here from Mazatlan, so we talked about traveling and Mexico. I got to practice some of my Spanish, and although I was terrible he smiled and helped me with the words I had forgotten. Things were going fine and I was enjoying having someone to talk to.

After a bit he decided to go get another drink and said he'd be right back, he then turned towards me and gave me a hug, then a kiss on the cheek, then a kiss on the lips which became longer and longer. Then he left and said he's be right back.

The funny thing is is that I immediately felt a strong disappointment. It wasn't that it was a bad kiss it's just that it wasn't at all what I wanted. I wanted to sit and talk about music and traveling and continue to practice Spanish. I didn't want kissing and making out; and I knew that as soon as he returned that would be his expectation. Why is it that men these days just kiss women 1. without even asking (verbally or physically) and 2. before any form of relationship or connection is made. It just bothers me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel like having an awkward "no actually, I'd appreciate it if you didn't kiss me now" conversation and by conversation I mean yelling it at him and hoping he understood what I was saying over the loud rock music.

So... I left.

Yep I just got up and walked out and didn't look back. I felt awful but I really just needed to get away.

The extra sad part is that I had already given him my number and I got a voicemail from him as I was pulling in the driveway at home. Here is what I could make out through the loud rock music in the background

"Hello, this is Emilio. I looked for you all over the place and I can't find you. I hoped to stay in contact with you, and maybe we can talk again. Thank you, I love you, bye."

Ooops, I'm so terrible.

A late night drive

I recently found myself driving home a really drunk guy, I mean totally smashed, like his button up sweatshirt was on upside-down. I don't know how exactly this happened as only 2.5 hours earlier I had been making out with him in my car and then dropped him at a friends house. Well anyway, the trip was quite a riot as many hilarious things were said by this extremely drunk boy to me but there is one that I must share with you all...

We were talking about something I don't really remember perhaps about me turning onto a new street as he was very concerned that I was going in the wrong direction or maybe about how he had just dropped his phone and now it was floating somewhere in my car... but out of, what seemed to me as, the blue he popped this statement:

Lets go all the way!

I laughed. I literally couldn't hold it in and I just laughed/kinda choked a bit. No one had every said that to me (I mean not in those words) and it did seem extremely odd and out of place given that we were driving and not making out or something. And there was no way I was going to "go all the way" with him when he was that drunk...

He recovered very quickly though and said

Lets go all the way home!

To which my reply was: don't you worry we are definitely going all the way home!

Ooops

I dont understand why can't i win you over??? I dotn get it I have treid to use the smart intellectual side. i tried to use the adeveturous side to me. I tried to use the funny humors side to me. I even tried the random and crazy part to me.

I am running out of ideas to try and win you over.

okay what about this. I will try and win you over with my artist individual side to me.


I'm not so sure what is so artistic about all the spelling and grammar mistakes that he used but I think maybe he should try for the smart intellectual side a little harder. Except of course that I don't remember his other emails. Ooops.

How cute am I?

I think ur cuter then a box full of kittens and teddy bears plus love the profile i am sorta new to this it seems like i lack the skills of describing myself so if u like to know more just ask u seem like a pretty sweet gurl i hope to hear back from u :)

~ Sam

Another keeper?!

****stop: Warning!: I am not your 'nice guy'. ****

First off, I am NOT here to play games, so if you are NOT interested in sex, then I highly suggest you hit the back button now.
Also:
IF YOU ARE TALLER THAN 5’9 THEN PLEASE HIT THE BACK BUTTON NOW !! I like my women on the petite side. Sorry if I sound like a douche, but that’s just how I feel.
With that said, I am looking for a woman. NOT a girl.
Oh yes, and you MUST have a tattoo on your lower back. That is a turn on for me. If you do NOT have a tattoo on your lower back, then you are NOT date-able.
Also.. IF YOU ARE OVER 28, I WILL DELETE YOUR MESSAGE. I WILL NOT DATE A GIRL WHO IS THAT OLD.
Also, I only date women who are fit. You must work out and have at least a set of “C’s”. Anything less and you will be deleted from my inbox. Sorry if I sound like a **stard, but I know what I want.
Also, if you wear pants, I will NOT date you. You must wear a skirt. Wearing pants is ghetto, and I do not date ghetto.
Oh, and I don’t like girls who watch soap operas, chick flicks, and Sex in the city. If you do, or have, we will NOT get along.
You MUST be able to make me laugh! If you can't then there will be no next step.

He also claims that he is the sweetest guy you will ever meet... but I think not. 

Cupid?

So about 4 years ago this guy asked me if I wanted to meet him and some friends at a bar the next evening. I said yes and returned home to tell my brand new roommate. I asked her if she would come with me because I was nervous and I thought it would be a great way for both of us to meet new people. Well those 4 years have passed and now that guy and my roommate are engaged to be married. .... you're welcome!

Funny thing is this is not the first time I have accidentally played cupid for my friends. I also unintentionally paired my best friend with her husband. He was talking to me about his new professional interests which happened to be very similar to my best friends interests and I told him that he needed to give her a call... and voila!!

Now I'm not saying I'm mad or jealous, I'm just saying...  
will some one please return the favor already!!!