How cute am I?

I think ur cuter then a box full of kittens and teddy bears plus love the profile i am sorta new to this it seems like i lack the skills of describing myself so if u like to know more just ask u seem like a pretty sweet gurl i hope to hear back from u :)

~ Sam

Another keeper?!

****stop: Warning!: I am not your 'nice guy'. ****

First off, I am NOT here to play games, so if you are NOT interested in sex, then I highly suggest you hit the back button now.
Also:
IF YOU ARE TALLER THAN 5’9 THEN PLEASE HIT THE BACK BUTTON NOW !! I like my women on the petite side. Sorry if I sound like a douche, but that’s just how I feel.
With that said, I am looking for a woman. NOT a girl.
Oh yes, and you MUST have a tattoo on your lower back. That is a turn on for me. If you do NOT have a tattoo on your lower back, then you are NOT date-able.
Also.. IF YOU ARE OVER 28, I WILL DELETE YOUR MESSAGE. I WILL NOT DATE A GIRL WHO IS THAT OLD.
Also, I only date women who are fit. You must work out and have at least a set of “C’s”. Anything less and you will be deleted from my inbox. Sorry if I sound like a **stard, but I know what I want.
Also, if you wear pants, I will NOT date you. You must wear a skirt. Wearing pants is ghetto, and I do not date ghetto.
Oh, and I don’t like girls who watch soap operas, chick flicks, and Sex in the city. If you do, or have, we will NOT get along.
You MUST be able to make me laugh! If you can't then there will be no next step.

He also claims that he is the sweetest guy you will ever meet... but I think not. 

Cupid?

So about 4 years ago this guy asked me if I wanted to meet him and some friends at a bar the next evening. I said yes and returned home to tell my brand new roommate. I asked her if she would come with me because I was nervous and I thought it would be a great way for both of us to meet new people. Well those 4 years have passed and now that guy and my roommate are engaged to be married. .... you're welcome!

Funny thing is this is not the first time I have accidentally played cupid for my friends. I also unintentionally paired my best friend with her husband. He was talking to me about his new professional interests which happened to be very similar to my best friends interests and I told him that he needed to give her a call... and voila!!

Now I'm not saying I'm mad or jealous, I'm just saying...  
will some one please return the favor already!!!

Am I a good Kisser?

I was making out with someone recently and as we paused to catch our breaths and look into each others eyes I decided to ask the classic question.... What are you thinking about? His response... Whether or not I'm a good kisser.

I have to admit I have never really given much thought to whether or not I was a good kisser.

We all know there are bad kissers out there... right? I haven't actually run into one but I'm sure they exist.

So what is it that really goes into kissing that makes one good or bad?

Lips - Soft smooth and full good dry and cracked bad
Tongue - Not too wet, not too forceful, doesn't do weird things?
Head Position - You don't want to bump foreheads or squish noses
Hands - Behind the neck good, cheek okay, back great, wandering maybe okay

I have to admit I'm not sure I see it. Sure I have had a few really amazing kisses but I think for the most part I'm just happy that someone is kissing me.

So I guess to me unless you're awful you're good...?

What's most important though is that I thought he was a good kisser (especially when he went for my neck OMG!!) and he thought that I was a good kisser.

So yay! I guess I'm a good kisser!

Take 2

I know you were all sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to find out.... did he stand you up again??

No, no he didn't. Thank goodness. Although it did take him till 5pm that evening to tell me what the plans were. 

This time I was late. But only like 10 mins late and only because I couldn't find parking anywhere.

The date was fine a little awkward. When our feet would accidentally touch each other under the table instead of it being a cute flirtatious moment it was an uncomfortable "oh I am so sorry." It turns out he is not disrespectful, aloof, inconsiderate, unreliable, selfish, immature, careless, insensitive, detached, and cold. Well maybe a little aloof and a total space cadet, but I might be able to accept that. 

He stood you up?

Have any of you ladies out there been stood up before? I would like to think I'm not the only one who has experienced this form of humiliation, although at the same time I do not wish it upon anyone.

I have been stood up three times in my life. Though none of them were the traditional form, I have never waited for hours in a restaurant ordering more water and checking my watch every 10mins. Mine were a little less publicly humiliating.

The first was from a friend, one whom I'd been flirting with off and on for 3.5 years of college. He or I (I don't remember) finally got the courage to ask the other out, we decided a day and a time but hadn't narrowed down the place... and then the day and the time passed with still no word from him. And I'm pretty sure nothing again for several weeks if not ever. The same event was repeated a couple years later with a guy I had met online.

Both of these events caused a slight sting but were relatively easy to brush off.

My third and most recent, however, was much more painful. This time we had agreed on the date (the day after my birthday) and the activity (getting drinks) but we had not narrowed down the exact time or place. At about 4:30 that afternoon I thought perhaps I'd text him and see what time worked for him.

Me: Hey, when did you want to get together tonight?

Max: What time is good for you?

Me: Anytime.. Do you wanna include dinner or just drinks?

And then there was silence... Being the person that I am I first got frustrated, why isn't he calling me, seriously what's the problem... we don't have to do dinner... Then around 8 I thought I'd try calling him... no answer. Around 10 (after two other attempts at calling him) I called a mutual friend...

Me: Hey have you heard from Max, recently? We're supposed to have this date/drinks thing and I haven't heard from him in like 6 hours.

Friend: No, I haven't heard from him.

Me: Do you think I'm being stood up?

Friend: No Max is a good guy. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't treat you like that. I don't know. I'm kinda worried maybe something's wrong.

Then I got a little worried, What if there was a family emergency? What if he had car troubles, what if he got in an accident? Then I reminded myself that there was nothing I could do, I went to bed and expected to hear from him in the morning.

The next day when I didn't hear anything I was kinda devastated. What did I do? What did I say? What is wrong with me? Maybe it's my breasts, maybe my breasts aren't big enough. My height, he didn't think it was an issue for him but it is isn't it? Did I push him away? Maybe he didn't like me after all? God I SUCK. I feel like an IDIOT.  Why did I bother getting all dressed up? Why did I get so excited, it obviously didn't mean anything to him?  All the questions, emotions, and frustration.

But why? It makes sense that if you get stood up that you feel like a looser. But what about them? Shouldn't they be the person who feels like an idiot? Standing someone up means you're disrespectful, aloof, inconsiderate, unreliable, selfish, immature, careless, insensitive, detached, and cold. Right?

It took him till Saturday at 10:30pm to finally tell me what happened. His excuse was reasonably lame something about phone dying, reduced service, friends in town, lost track of time.... His apology, however, seemed genuine and he noted that he wished to make it up to me. So I waited a few days (let my emotions simmer down) and then finally wrote him back.

In theory, we have a "making it up to me date" scheduled for tomorrow... but I haven't gotten any notice of the plans.

Do you think what they say about men who cheat is true for men who stand up women?

Once a Stander Up-er (?) always and Stander Up-er?

Well we're about to find out.

Fairy Tales

Recently one of the two living ghosts in my life appeared out of nowhere and said hello. I have not heard nor seen this person for over 5 years so it gave me quiet a scare and many emotions were soon to follow. Out of this came a moment of weakness where I decided to check in on the other ghost in my life (my ex). Although I didn't send him hate mail or call him and then quickly hang up instead I went the slightly more modern route and google'd him. Silly me....

What I found was his wedding photographers blog about his wedding and a small collection of pictures. One might think seeing him so happy and her so beautiful would break my heart but it wasn't the pictures that bothered me (mostly because he looked like he'd gained weight, his smiles were all off and more on the smirky/fake side, and although she was relatively pretty I thought she looked too young for him).

No it wasn't the pictures, it was in fact the text that the photographer had written about them that really ticked me off. She stated how "he and her had a fairy tale story that he had asked her out once and she said no, so he invited her on a road trip from their college back to his home almost 3,000 miles away and that it was during the trip that she fell in love with him. Their wedding cake was adorned with a small car and a black road wrapped around it as a symbol to their beginnings."

What bothered me so much was the part of the story that was missing, there was, obviously, no mention of how he was in a relationship with another woman (me) at the time of the road trip. How he only spoke with the current girlfriend once the entire week long road trip and that his excuse for such behavior was because it would have been awkward to talk in front of his friend (now wife) (probably because he didn't want the new girlfriend hearing him talk to the current girlfriend). Nor was there any mention of how the current girlfriend dumped him because at the time she thought he was being distant, rude, and most importantly incapable of true emotion or love. (Though as it turns out it appears that maybe he was just  cheating on her.) And the fact that they would memorialize his cheating bastard self on their cake, just disgusts me.

When considering the entire story I wonder how anyone would describe this as a fairy tale? Do fairy tale relationships still exist or for that matter did they ever exist?  Or does every relationship have it's dark back story that is never retold?

And all of this makes me wonder what will be said on my wedding day, what will be our fairy tale beginning?

After several years of tirelessly searching the vast internet far and wide for his one true love he found her amongst a crowd of other women in a land called OkCupid. It took much effort to push his way through the hoards of emails and online photographs of maidens asking for his hand before he finally encountered Yellowtail Damselfish's profile.  There was something about her distinct coloring that caught his eye. She was a small but beautiful lady with just the right sense of humor, passion for the environment, and dreams for the future. Although it took him over a week after their first date at Starbucks to call her back on their second date to the zoo, as he watched her take pictures of the warthogs, he realized that he was falling in love. And as they say ... the rest was history.